FSOM: It’s not difficult to see why Hyrox’s popularity will have it knocking on the door of Olympic inclusion – but there are some issues

A Hyrax is a fluffy little mammal which inhabits rocky and semi-arid stretches of Africa.

It’s about the size of a small cat and has a call not unlike the scream made by a man who has been lamped in the clock weights by a lump of wood.

It is, thus, not to be confused with hyrox, which is headlined to be the next big thing in sporting competition.

Hyrox is a gym-based fitness competition which combines running with exercises, to put it simply.

It bills itself as ‘the world series of fitness racing’ and a “sport for everybody” (more on that later!)

If you thought padel or pickleball was the fastest-growing sport, you ain’t seen nothing yet when it comes to Hyrox, which is already being touted as an Olympic sport (more of THAT later!).

Everybody and anybody who has a membership of their local sweatshop gym, is a potential Hyrox competitor. FSOM’s daughter (aka Her Highness The Princess) dabbles in a spot of Hyrox.

So, if it’s not a desert-dwelling furball, what is Hyrox?

Simply, it’s a standardised fitness competition that comprises eight kilometres of running with eight workout stations.

It was founded in 2017 by Germans Christian Toetzke and Moritz Furste, a double Olympic gold medallist as a member of the German team from the 2008 and 2012 Games.

Their initial intent was to appeal to gym users and to get them to move beyond the aims of chubsters sweating off a few pounds on the treadmill and cycle machine, and narcissists bulking up muscle too look like several sacks of walnuts in a vest and shorts.

Although the ethic is that there is no such thing as bad publicity, Hyrox came to the world’s attention in the most unfortunate and gruesome circumstances when in a race in Beijing in September, Australian athlete Joanna Wietrzyk had the sort of faecal problem that had it been on a plane, would have seen men in hazmat suits declare her a bio-hazard and sling her off.

As it was despite applying a liberal coating to her surroundings and most of the gym equipment, she carried on and won the race, attracting deserved criticism for endangering other competitors. At most gyms, the big roll of kitchen paper is rolled out if somebody lets a bead of sweat drip on to the bench press.

The Hyrox format is standardised around the globe, allowing for competition, and 650 people took part in the first event in Hamburg in 2018. By 2023, 24,000 competitors took part in London alone, with 175,000 taking part in 65 races globally.

There are grades and standards, with the elite competitors being the ones who would compete at Olympic level.

Your Hyrox race kicks off with a 1km run (on a treadmill) followed by 1km of Ski Erg, a piece of equipment which replicates cross-country ski-ing. Being indoors, no snow or skis are involved.

Off the ski-ing machine and into another 1km on the treader, and then into a 50m sled push. This isn’t the sort of sled Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Donner and Blitzen haul along laden with presents, but a contraption laden with weights, shoved along the ground and weighing as much as a Challenger tank.

Hey ho! It’s another 1km run, followed by a 50m sled pull. Same as before but on the other end and pulling instead of pushing.

Off for another 1km run and then into 80m of burpee jumps (for those unfamiliar with the burpee, it begins by lying on the stomach, getting into a crouch position, leaping with arms outstretched and back into the flat starting position, and repeat)

Guess what? Another 1km run, followed by 1km on the rowing machine.

Get those feet moving on another 1km run easing into a 200m kettlebell farmer carry, so called because it’s probably like carrying a jolly Bavarian lederhosen-clad bauer fresh from the Oktoberfest and full of Weisswurst and several steins of Hacker-Pschorr over a distance he would struggle to stagger.

It’s the penultimate 1km run and this time it morphs into 100m of sandbag walking lunges. Lunges are tough enough for somebody like FSOM who has hammies tighter than Jimmy Page’s guitar strings, but Hyrox adds the pleasure of wearing weighed clothing.

At last! It’s the final 1km on the treadmill but the torture is not over as the last exercise is 100 wall balls. This involves lifting a heavy medicine ball up over your head 100 times.

While the exercises are standardised, the weights on the sleds, kettlebell and other weight-based activities can vary according to class and classification.

It’s not difficult to see why Hyrox is popular and growing and why its popularity will have it knocking on the door of Olympic inclusion.

There’s a couple of issues here.

Hyrox is owned by a company called Upsolut sports, to whom gyms pay an annual fee to become a Hyrox affiliate. The number of affiliated gyms reached 5,000 worldwide by the end of 2024.

So the IOC, which is notoriously picky about this sort of thing, would have to negotiate some sort of commercial arrangement with a company who would want to make maximum bank.

The other issue is what would Hyrox replace?

Favourite to get the chop is the triathlon, which has only been part of the Olympics since the 2000 games in Sydney.

The 1.5km swim, 40km (25 miles) bike ride and 10km (six miles) is a watered down version for the Olympics from the original triathlon distance (now known as Ironman events) of a 3.9km (2.4mile) swim, 180.2km (112 mile) bike ride and a full marathon of 26.22 miles, making up a total distance of 140.6 miles or 226.3km, which is further than FSOM goes on his holidays.

Even the abridged Olympic distance is considered one of sports great tests of endurance and Britain would certainly be sorry to see it get the chop as it has dominated the event with Alistair and Johnny Brownlee winning gold and bronze in 2012, gold and silver in 2016, and Alex Yee winning silver in 2020 and gold in 2024, despite having to dodge floaters in the River Seine in Paris.

Hyrox requires no stretch of water or swimming skills and there is no requirement to steer an exercise bike around a corner.

Unlike the triathlon, which provides spectacular tourist-board shots of Big Ben, Rio’s statue of Christ or the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe, Hyrox will not exactly be a televisual treat for the eyes, unless the sweat starts pouring down the walls like a mini-Iguacu falls.

Triathlon could join a distinguished list of discontinued Olympic sports such as tug-of-war, an event in which GB was pretty successful but is now limited to summer fetes on village greens where 10 hefty blokes yanked out of the pub will pull on a rope at which the other end are 120 kids and 30 mums.

Clay-pigeon shooting is still an Olympic sport, unlike pigeon shooting, which was a bit rough on the pigeons as real birds were used.

Boules is the sort of sport that would prove popular, it requires only a stretch of gravel, a few surly Frenchmen with Gauloise cigarettes hanging from their bottom lips and a bottle of Pastis on a table, while motorboat racing was hardly a sport for the masses. Similarly polo.

Cricket is making a comeback in Los Angeles in 2028 in T20 form after an absence of 128 years. Its only previous appearance was at Paris in 1900 where GB beat France in the only game played and where the hosts probably thought they were playing French cricket.

If in the meantime, if you should see a kitty-sized furry animal on your travels, it might be on its way to the Olympics.

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